Who are you?
Who do you believe you are?
Who defines you? God? You? Others?
What defines you? God? What you accomplish? Your children? Your success or failures?
Because it needs to be God. It needs to be the word of God. And what does the word of God say?
It says He loves us. He cares about us, He pays attention to us, we matter to Him, and are so special to Him.
There are many verses that say this–this one struck me during my daily reading the other day:
“O LORD, you have probed me and you know me,” Psalm 139:1.
That day, I need to hear that—that God was looking deep into my heart, that He cared to know me deeply, to know everything about me. Because that is when you love and care about someone, when you truly desire to know them.
Some other examples of verses:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
There are plenty of other verses that say that God loves us. But these I liked in particular because it shows His tenderness. It shows that his love is not distant. He cares about us, about our pain, about our sufferings.
So why would I let other things or other people define me when God loves me so much? Why would that not be enough for me when God knows me, really knows me, knows all my flaws and failings and yet He loves me?
I remember being in Confession with one of my favorite priests one time. I was undergoing a trial, feeling rejected by someone and it was really affecting me.
This priest looked at me and said, “Carina, you are God’s not that person’s.”
I never forgot that.
And this was my penance– prays this prayer of St. Francis everyday for a week:
Lord, I am yours,
and I must belong to no one but you.
My soul is yours,
and must live only by you.
My will is yours,
and must love only for you.
I must love you more than myself,
since I am all yours and all in you.
AMEN.
It was to remind me everyday that I belonged to God and to no one else and to let God define me.
I’ve said before that I’m a sanguine by temperament. If you studied the temperaments, you know that a sanguine wants everyone to like them all the time. They are sensitive to criticism. So imagine what its like when you are well openly crucified, seen as something your not, or even lied about to others? Hey, this stuff happens.
I have been praying the Litany of Humility occasionally (you know: From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus. From the desired of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus. From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus Etc . . . ) but that kind of trial is NOT what I had in mind.
However, it’s probably not surprising that God would choose to challenge me sometimes in this area–like I just said it is a weakness of mine.
He is asking me, “what is defining you?”
Is it what certain people say about me or think of me? Wow, I hope not.
Because it needs to be God. It needs to the word of God.
When that defines me, I can rest secure knowing I am loved, known, cared for no matter what. It’s more than enough.