It’s just where I’m at right now. For whatever reason, I’ve kind of gone back to the beginning of my grieving process–as happens from time to time. It’s a dark period, I guess.
So today, when I read the Gospel for the vigil Mass of the feasts of Sts. Peter and Paul (John 21:15-19), I felt like Jesus was asking me what He was asking Peter: “Do you love Me?” In the midst of the dark moment, Jesus wants to know if I still have my eyes on Him, if I still am clinging to the one thing–my faith. So He is asking me the question again. Do you love Me? Didn’t I answer you already Lord?
Yes, but maybe I’m the one who forgot what the answer is
And then . . . at the end of this reading (after He tells Peter how He is going to die), He says, “Follow me.” Follow me through the darkness and uncertainty.
It’s a blinding, groping kind of Yes–like I am holding on to Jesus’ cloak in complete pitch darkness. I can’t see in front of me and I can’t see Him but I trust that He is there. I just keep holding on and walking.
So that’s it . . .that’s my message for this day; that’s the question Jesus is asking.
Do you love me? Do you trust me? Follow me.
This picture was taken from the rose bushes I planted this spring. I have always loved roses and I can see them outside of my laundry room window–a tiny ray of hope and comfort.